How I Shot My Butler

by Peaseblossom over 5 years ago

I shot my butler.

No, actually, I did.

Yea, I know what you're thinking. "This lady's crazy if she's just gonna write about shooting her butler as if it's no big deal. She's probably writing from jail."

Well, I'm not in jail. He's actually fine. It was just.... In the craziness of that day... I didn't even...   Read more

Of Death and Sleep

by AllieMcGinnis over 5 years ago

I'm dead. Really dead. Not the "There'll be a twist in the end and I'll be saved" kind of way. Just dead.

I keep thinking back to how I died.
I don't remember how I died really. I think I fell.
Are you suppose to remember how you die? Or is that weird?
Is there some sort of weird rule of death that you can't...   Read more

The Second Tale of the Goat

by Paterson_R over 5 years ago

A tall man stands in a park. His eye and cheek are crimson, blackening. A policeman stands next to him, getting out his notepad.

Policeman: Sir, is this your goat?
Tall man: No.
Policeman: Right. Can you tell me exactly what happened?
Tall man: Well, I was in my office and I saw a man underneath the...   Read more

The Many Fatal Loves of Sal

by PeterC.Hayward over 5 years ago

Sal was in love.

A part of her felt that she'd always been in love, and almost each time with a different man. But this time she knew it was real. For this man, she'd been in love with twice.

Sal had first met Harold two years ago, when he was about to be hit by a falling piano. That was when she'd known it...   Read more

Don't Inqire Too Much

by AllieMcGinnis over 5 years ago

He ran in the room, his heart pounding, and his clothes soaking wet. A man was sitting across the room in a fat leather chair, the kind you see CEOs with. His back to the sopping boy.
The boy stood panting with his back against the door, his eyes closed and his head tilted at the ceiling. "S-sorry. I ran into some...   Read more

Thank you for traveling with...

by Lulu over 7 years ago

Es ging alles furchtbar schnell. Ein Kreischen, ein plötzlicher Ruck. Irgendwie schrien plötzlich alle durcheinander, ich glaube, ich hab auch geschrien. Aber so ganz sicher bin ich mir nicht. Meine Ohren fühlten sich an, als seien sie in Watte gepackt worden.
Absurder Weise gefiel mir dieses Gefühl und es wurde...   Read more

It Happens In Real Life, Too

by James Vernon almost 7 years ago

Daring to be noticed for the first time in her life, she pushed her chair back and stood up.

"I must protest!" she shouted, above the din of the room.

The man at the other side looked at her quizically. "Miss Whitely, would you please sit down? You're not allowed to speak out until it's your turn in the...   Read more

Oops...Costume Malfunction

by delaogk almost 6 years ago

The audience stared open mouthed at me. I didn't know if I should cover up or keep dancing. Who would have thought I would have fallen out of my costume? A wardrobe malfunction, that's what they called it.

So I did what I thought was the right thing to do. I pushed myself back into the low-cut tube top and kept on...   Read more

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

by Galen about 8 years ago

"I'm not stalking you, I swear," she said to him as he stared across the produce section in the grocer.

"Oh? The coffee shop by your office I could understand. The subway too. Maybe we live on the same line. The movie theatre might have been a coincidence. And the cologne section at Macy's could be...   Read more

Four of five on a lotto ticket

by Galen over 8 years ago

The shipwreck was catastrophic -- the kind where the powder magazines fireballed into the sky. Wood and masts and sails and all that turned into a bunch of toothpicks even Dennis Hoffman couldn't count.

Only Dark James Jameson survived, catapulted as he was from the plank he'd been stumping down as he crossed...   Read more