"I'm with stupid," she said.
I looked away. It wasn't the first time she'd said something like that about me. I knew that because it wans't the first time she'd said it right in front of me.
So I just looked away. I had a Pepsi can that I jiggled, and sometimes raised to my mouth.
We walked around the arcade, with her twitching her behind, trying to look like she was hot shit.
Why she needed me along to do that, I don't know.
Unless it just made her feel better to have someone to feel better than.
I...
"I'm with stupid." It was the dumbest t-shirt he'd ever owned. He liked it anyway, but she gave it away. Someone at the homeless shelter would receive an "I'm with stupid" t-shirt this Wednesday at giving time. God he missed her, even though she gave away that t-shirt. He missed the way her face lit up looking at every snowflake that fell in the winter.
He missed her light brown hair sitting upon her bare shoulders in summer; the way she she would groan at him for wearing the "I'm with stupid" t-shirt. She used to dance to "Video Killed...
I'm with stupid.
What an offensive shirt to wear on a first date, I thought as I picked at my salad. As soon as it was socially acceptable, I'd excuse myself to the bathroom, where I'd conveniently get a call from my dog's babysitter.
As we finished dinner, I prepared to make my dash to the bathroom, but he stopped me. "It's the shirt, isn't it?"
"I didn't say anything," I replied.
"I know you didn't, but you definitely noticed it. You'd have to be, well, stupid not to. So here's the story." His voice took on a sad tone....
I'm with stupid. It's Jerry's favorite T-shirt. He wears it all the time. It doesn't matter where we're going, he'll wear the shirt. Church, court, the museum-- he just shrugs his shoulders and gives me that grin when I ask him not to wear it. The more inappropriate the occasion, the more it seems to spur him to wear it.
Jerry's never really cared about impressions, that I get. But he also doesn't seem to get that I do. Sometimes, I think he gets some sick pleasure out of watching me squirm while he's talking to a prospective client at...
This dream was better than waking.
Awake the pain from the bruises was beyond belief. In this dream, I was pain free and dancing in his arms. He had come up behind me and I'd heard just his footsteps softly approach me, followed by a gentle cough. I'd glanced over my shoulder and looked straight into his deep brown eyes.He'd held out his hand and asked "May I?"I'd gratefully turned into his open arms and let him whirl me onto the floor. For twenty minutes I was in heaven as we waltzed around and around.
Then downstairs he dropped a...
"I can't sleep with her next to me," I'd protested.
And, predictably, Elsa had looked wounded and said, "Love me, love my cat."
So I loved her cat. I mean, how could I not?
And a few days later:
"I can't sleep with the TV on," I said. "I'm sorry. I've tried."
"Okay, Julie," said Elsa reasonably. "That's fair."
And she turned the TV off, even though that got her to sleep quickets.
And a few days later:
"I can't sleep," I said. "It's just a thing. Go back to bed."
And she looked at me, and then she went...
I'm in luuu-uv with a ro-bot
An' I just can't stop
Got a feelin' he's a bad lot
But he gets me over the top
It was loud. It was *bad*. It was everywhere. It was augmented by neon lights in rainbow colors and, somehow, the voices and laughter bouncing off all the hard surfaces in here.
So, this, apparently, was a bar.
"Relax," Maya muttered at her side. "You look like a nun in need of Ex-Lax."
"This isn't what I had in mind," Elizabeth hissed back. "What the hell in the phrase 'a quiet night somewhere' made you...
Fights tend to start for no apparent reason. I say that was rude, then you tell me I was snotty first. It's a freakin' white t-shirt we argue over. One of mine I ruined myself with the blue detergent that sits on the washing machine. You throw it because I'm mad you brought it upstairs in the first place, when I was going to bleach it in the next day or so. Then I get more mad and tell you to not be mean to me, when really I guess I was the mad one in the first place. This...
"I'm in love with a robot."
"What?!"
"I am in love with a robot. I really am. I just realized it."
"I am concerned that you don't know what love is."
"Well - me too, but that's not the point. I am concerned that you don't know what robots are."
"What is a robot? Who is this robot that you "love?"
"A robot is someone who functions on the basis of identifiable algorithms or functions. It is someone who may appear human but is not. You."
"I'm in love with a robot!" "Oh, Barbie, congratulations!" Woody exclaimed, "but what happened to Ken?"
You see, Ken just didn't cut it anymore. Barbie had loved him for so long despite his all-polyester wardrobe, but recently she discovered that he had the hots for Bo Peep.
"What's his name?" asked Mrs. Potato Head. "Alfie, Alfie the spelling robot!" Barbie screamed. "I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!" "Awww," sighed Slink, "another romance in Andy's room."
"Have ya kissed em yet, Barb?"
"Yes, Skipper, I have."
"Awwww." said