Cupid said,
"Nobody knows or cares who I am."
"I'm just one of the pack."
Channeling Jan Brady, he added, "Everyone just cares about Rudolph, Rudolph, Rudolph!"
"Sure, he helped us out that ONE TIME, and now everyone can't stock singing about him."
"He wasn't even in 'The Night Before Christmas." It was On Dasher, On Dancer ... but Rudolph was still in the minors!'
Channeling Rodney Dangerfield, he added, "I get no respect at all. Even PRANCER had a movie made about him.
"I'm not even the most famous Cupid out there! It's that angel baby that shoots people...
I was stealthy. I knew my prey was crafty, so I prepared. Night vision goggles, sniper rifle, grenades just in case. I was stalking the elusive Reindeer through the forests of the Northwest.
Oh, but he was a crafty one, indeed.
He doubled back on me. I barely saw him coming. Who knew reindeers could fly? This one was wearing a blue cape, and its nose was glowing bright red.
I should have seen it coming. He ambushed me.
Then I saw the man himself. Santa. I thought he was made up. He'd been behind the ambush the entire time....