The results were in: I won. I won first place in the contest. What contest? The contest to setermine who would recieve the grand prize of 1 milllion dollars. Shocked, flaberghasted! Amazed! crying! I couldn't belive it! I said to to Milred, the clerk at the counter, "Wait. Are you serious? I won? Are you sure? Could you check my ticket again, just to make sure?" Milred, a 65 year old grandmother who could barely see over the counter, said, "Mister. I've looked at it three times already. You must belive it. You have won. You are a wealthy man...
The baker is making a pie.
Why, oh why,
Was I not invited?
You had a big party.
I wasn't invited.
I never am.
It's a dance, this time.
And I'm still not invited.
Why?
I guess it's better to say,
I'm uninvited.
More than enough.
The Loch Ness Monster was on vacation. As was the case with most celebrities, Nessie wanted her privacy. This wasn't a working vacation, it was for her own sanity, and she didn't intend to frighten anyone while relaxing in Lake Superior.
Then the stupid dog looked down. Stupid dogs, always looking down. Nessie was in the middle of her favorite book, "Flowers in the Attic" and she popped up very briefly just to see if it was raining or night, or if there were any passing UFOs she could snack on. Instead, there was a dog.
"Shoo, stupid dog!" she...
It was all a fine day, the sun was out, water was nice but then suddenly the clouds turn dark, the trees rocked from side to side looking like it was going to come out of the root. The water crashed against the rock vigorously over and over again. Then the dirt when flying everywhere and on everyone, so the public ran for cover. The umbrellas on the sand flew across the other side and sand flew all the way to the shops. Everyone was screaming, the birds were screaming, the people were screaming and the weather got worst by...
Randy: Well Bob, I ain't seen any antelope, nor any deer. An' it sure don't look like there's any home on this here range!
Bob: [spits] Aww sheet Randy! Ah knew we shouldn't ev followed those stinky Injuns!
Randy: You got any Marlboro's there bwoy? Ah think ah need a smoke!
[Bob hands Randy a cigarrette]
Bob: [suddenly worried] Are we walking on a layer of kerosine?
[Randy lights his Zippo]
[-BOOM!!!- Stage Lights Full Glare]
-Stage Lights Off
The Potentate surveryed his creamsicle tower coolly.
It hadn't been his idea to build it, it was the idea of his latest duchess. It had been a stupid idea when she had begged for it, but, after she had begun to withhold her affections, he had relented.
It wasn't, you understand, that her pouting had worked on him mind, more that he had been advised by his cabinet that it would not do anything for his public image for him to behead another duchess.
Not that he fancied beheading this one, oh no, burning at the stake felt much more...
Contemptlation of the one. The flame at the center of life. Beginning and end. No beginning, no end.
It's my birfday.
The children huddled around the flame, discussing what was to be done. One suggested that the only possible route was violence, the violence of the oppressed masses against their oppressor. Another suggested that they might take more subtle means of gaining control of the classroom, gain partisans. The teacher came in, and they blew out the candle, acting as though nothing had happened.
Every child around the cake wished that it was his birthday, that he could be the...
I'm a rockstar. And I want to be a rockstar. Doesn't make much sense, does it? Doesn't to me, either. I guess I just want to be a better rock star then my enemy, who is also a rockstar. Hey, guess what my name is? Rock Star. Not even joking. Rock Xavier Star. Idiot parents gave me a guitar for my first birthday and now I'm Rock Star the rockstar. I hate my life.
Anita anahu was a Polynesian girl born with elemental powers. For generations her family were the guardians of 4 sacred islands. Each island was an element
the first island was water. The second one was wind, Third was fire and lastly earth but for anita she has the ability of all 4 elements. The people of islands were surprised as the very first child to contain all elements were known to be part of a prophecy.
The prophecy is said to be told that if a child is born with all elements he/she is the heir to all the 4...
2070
From Factopediumz- the factual encyclopedia.
2070 was a calendar year beginning on Wednesday.
Events:
January 20: President Donald Trump VIII abdicates the office after insurrections by members of the rival Hilton party.
February 17: Rogue gorillas overtake the Smithsonian museum. Order is restored by armed robots after spraying plasma indiscriminately into the crowd.
February 18: Rogue robots overtake the Smithsonian museum. Order is restored by 30,000 members of the American Civil Defense Order after spraying plasma indiscriminately into the crowd.
March 3: World's first computer made entirely of living matter created from the DNA of rhesus monkeys and contains...